By-Two Kaapi in an oilfield

I'm 21 and I think I'm aging? Hell, yeah!

Life's different from the last four years that I spent in college. Pretty obvious, isn't it? A lot of things change. You can start listing all the clichés - Responsibility, Work, Focus etc etc. But the buck doesn't stop there. The change is a little deeper than what it seems.

Right now, I'm sitting in a posh hotel room in an island in the Arabian Gulf; a couple of thousand miles away from a place I call 'Home'; suffocated by the opulence around me; and I'm reading about what I blogged exactly two years ago. And I start focusing on the change that is creeping in.

It's amusing and well documented as to how you always feel that your posts a year ago were so immature. But, for a change, I felt there was a sense of innocent beauty and zeal in my posts a couple of years ago. I realized, I loved to debate on issues till I dropped dead. I loved to live in my own esoteric/poetic world. I loved to talk about life, about music that touches the soul, about love, about pain, about lack of achievement. The wheels rolled. Today, all that sounds romantic. But I have materialistic thoughts in my mind. I'd rather talk about people, about money, about petty politics. The fire no longer burns. All that exist are lame blames, isolated cries and a general apathy.

As a corollary, I seem to have a relatively shorter attention span. Signs of aging! I'm shocked to see myself having written blog posts that span more than a couple of thousand words. Sorry, brother. Doesn't work anymore. I pushed myself a couple of weeks to pen this post, and I'm pretty darn sure I can't keep this running.

So, what's in it for me? Well, this blog will see fewer, shorter posts. I probably saw this coming when I was introduced to Tumblr and Twitter. The hard fact is that I almost shut down this blog today. Just before doing so, I flipped through my archives, and felt a stinging guilt of not being that flamboyant, happy-go-lucky blogger. And with that faint hope that someday I might return to writing, I leave this blog alive.

For the record, my interest will now be focused on Intoxicated by Possibility, a tumblelog, a stream of consciousness, an online trail - call it what you want. And this blog shall stay, for those peaceful days when I am sipping coffee and feel the kid in me, yearning to write.