By-Two Kaapi in an oilfield

Is it coincidence or providence?

I have no answer to this question I posed to myself today morning (or rather noon) when I woke up. I remember myself dreaming about a wonderful thing. It was a mixure of 2 things I have blogged very recently - "One last Goodbye - Anathema" and "A walk to remember". I said that I could feel the song by Anathema, but then last night I actually felt it in my dreams, and as Anathema say "And it feels so real"...I felt it was so real. Maybe my dream was influenced by one of the most amazing movies I have seen in recent times - "A walk to remember". The purity and truth of love, life, hope and the journey ahead which had taken a backseat in my subconscious emerged like the shades of Hades. Anybody who has seen the movie and has read the lyrics of the song (and actually listened to the song) can easily figure out what I might have dreamt of. If you really want to know, then you better do the above said 2 tasks!

Rarely do meticuluosly practiced showcase of acting skills on the bigscreen (commonly called movies) inspire me. The keyword iwas 'rarely'. And the movie that I just saw was a conspicuous exception. Rightly it's a movie to remember. The movie: "A walk to remember".

First half an hour, all I thought was I was watching a hopeless movie. It didnt make any sense to me, and I felt that it is yet another been there-done that sort of English romantic movies. And it all started when the lead actress's ambition was portrayed as "To witness a miracle". I saw astoundingly profound sense in it. I was glued to the monitor for the rest of the movie. And only when the cast scrolls started appearing at the end of the movie that I realised that my eyes and cheeks were moist.

It is so true that at times, the strength to succeed and become big which comes from inside is not strong enough. And at even lesser times, one gets the strength from a special person - "an angel". And then does one realise his/her destiny. The angel will not stay forever. We are lucky when we find that angel, and we ought to be so grateful to destiny for intersecting our lives. Its all about life, hope and the journey that lies ahead.

I am lucky, which is why I watched this movie.

I am an Indian and proud to be one. Hold it! This isn't one of those stereotypic posts bragging about the rich culture and heritage that is India; about how much potential India has..blah blah blah. I have been pondering recently over the family system here in India. Undoubtedly, the Indian family system is very complex and a very tight-knit (probably too tight-knit) system. Why have I been thinking over a family now? ;-) Not anything special. I was considering, what is termed as a foolish hasty decision by millions of people around me - "Starting up right after college". And then, went on to realize that it is totally improbable in a family institution like ours (or atleast mine!).

So, what is it about the characteristic Indian family? Well, to sum it all up, I would say it is damn possessive. There can as usual be a counter-argument for this. Being possessive is all about showing 'care'. Yeah right! To a certain extent, being possessive is about saying 'I care', and then its all about 'I dont give a damn as to what you want to do, do as I say'. And mark my words, this is how the characteristic Indian family is. Based on the enriching experiences here at BITS-Pilani, I have learnt that it is experience that matters the most than anything else - passion, enthu, determination. And sticking to this line, it is perfectly normal for the elders in the family to advise (or command) the younger ones to do something. In the long run, it is all for one's good to listen to all of them. I would say, it is the 'safest' path. No risks. Cool life.

But what about people who dont fall under the category 'normal'. Like me. Check this sign on the entrance door to my room.


I have blogged earlier about people who love chaos, love challenges, think "No risks. No pleasure". Here, the care of the family members metamorphises into a glaring autocratic devil. Its the biggest stifler of creativity and freedom. My family isnt even close to being autocratic. But then, most families are. Now, if I think of starting up right after I graduate out of BITS, everyone around me will think that I have gone nuts. The Indian family expects their son to go to a good college, burn the midnight oil everynight, toil, toil and toil to make the best grades possible, get into a brilliant company thorugh campus placements, work for a couple of years, marry a girl of their choice, and lead a normal life for years to come. Is this all what life is meant for !? Give me a break !

Life is bigger than this. ('It is bigger than you ' said REM in 'Losing my religion')
Every point I said above is screwed.
Life is not about making it to the best college, you dont have to toil all night (look at things around you and enjoy!), making good grades is useless, getting into a good company is pointless, marrying the girl of their choice (reserved for a coming-soon post), and life is NO WAY about leading a cool life for the rest of your life. It is about being someone that no one has been before. It is about making a difference in people around you.

I just hope that the Indian family system gets the best of what the American system has - 'freedom' and retains its core value of 'bonding and care'.
Then, my country shall wake up in Utopia.

Ah! Feels good to be back. After a long long gap. Well, I do not like to blame anybody else other than myself for this hiatus but then the blame also partially falls on
a. BITS - Boring Institute of Test Series : Man! what a screwing test series. I have forgotten the feeling of walking out of a test room having cracked it out of shape.
b. NEURON - The BITS Network : For showing how deeply I am addicted to the internet, and then also demonstrating that life without internet is also possible. The premise was that I was cut off, as were thousands of BITSians from the internet for close to a week.
c. Caffeine - For making life so much more interesting and worth living! I am kinda worried because I have grown into a caffeine junkie. Yipee! Now there's a Coffee Corner in the heart of BITS and thats just 50m from my room.

Hmm...Gotta cheer for Montoya tomorrow morn in the Australian Grand Prix. Have to start some serious work for Conquest.

Overall, life went through its characteristic cosine curve in the hiatus. But somehow, there were some memorable events which lent more joy than the overall grief that my test series brought in. Will keep blogging frequently from now on!