By-Two Kaapi in an oilfield

The weblog of Abhilash Ravishankar, India.

Here I blog about my personal experiences [posting rarely]

At my tumblelog Intoxicated by possibility I blog about my opinions/likes/dislikes [posting heavily]

My Girl

I have been wanting to blog about this since the beginning of this semester, but never found time. A couple of cups of coffee down the throat now, and it seems the 'muhurtam' (the right time) has arrived.

Just to keep all you readers (if there are any...Hello...anybody there ?) guessing, I shall not tell you whether I have a girl or not , and if yes, whats her name till the end of this post ! Bear with me, oh anon!

This semester, due to coincidence or rather evident reality I found lots of my friends out here (and many whom I just know by name) roaming around with some girlfriend of theirs. Myself and a bunch of friends (with no girlfriends, of course!) sat for hours and brooded over the root of this social phenomenon. And, there was no solid conclusion that came out of the dozen late night meetings we had, except for case studies that spawned our own case study. The rest are censored here, due to not so obvious reasons.

But then, one fine day, I questioned myself, why can't I get a girlfriend? Though I know girls out here whom I really admire, why haven't I been going out with someone? Not that I didn't want to - I would love to! I decided to list down the top 3 things that are barring me from going out with a girl. The moment I hit the first reason - I stopped! That's because I realised that's huge enough a reason, for me to not get a girl out here. The reason -

I am lazy!

I am too lazy to pursue a girl and woo her. And, if I know the girl, I am lazy to ask her out. (Though, in some case, i would, i am sure, it wont work). So, I realized I would have to remain like this for the rest of my undergrad - unless and until some serious change in me, makes me hyperactive. Then would come the more serious problem of finding the right match. Based on all the girls I know here, that would be close to impossible. (Actually, I can say - It IS impossible).

So, now that I have resigned to my existing lifestyle, I began to think on a new track. Thanks to an amazing discussion I had with one of the few people I admire on campus, I began to see things around me in a new light. Now, when I see a couple moving around together, I see the happiness in both of them, and I feel happier! Crazy - but true! But the most important realization is that what they are doing is worthless! And, poor souls, they are so happy in doing that - Good for them.

Why is it worthless? Simple. The truth lies in the Vedanta - "Aham Brahmasmi". I am one with the Brahman. If I am one with the Brahman and so are you, both of us are mere manifestations of the Brahman. We are one and the same! Coming back to the situation that I see the girl whom I love(read, I want to go out with), why am I attracted towards her(or why do I want to go out with her)? That's because I see something different in her than all other girls I know. I would want to know her better. I would want to talk to her infinitely. That's because I percieve a chasm between me and her, and I wish to bridge that, by goin out with her. Reality: There is no chasm! Both myself and her, are one and the same. We are the Brahman itself. So, what is the point in pursuing a girl - when in reality, you are pursuing yourself ?! At the same time, there is nothing wrong in looking at a lovely girl and exclaiming 'Wow!'. It's just that I am appreciating the beauty of the Brahman.

So, that brings me to the point, where I look back at the foolish thoughts I had over the last year of missing someone. I just look back and laugh in silent contempt at myself, and then I drown myself in 'ananda' looking at the world outside and appreciating the beauty that is so glaring, yet not obvious enough to be seen by everyone.


  1. Muralidhar said...
    This is too much into philosophy man! Actually no philosophy is needed in this context. I had similar ideas in the past. I am waiting for a hands-on experience, really :) It is only to be experienced first. I fear if it is not frustration that is drilling this philosophy in??? And why would the Brahaman of only the opposite sex attract? :)))
    Abhilash Ravishankar said...
    Well, I know that this is slightly too much of philosophy - but it does make sense to think in the way I have written. And, I am not at all frustrated :) - that's because if I seriously want a girl, then I would probably change myself to shed my laziness and put in some effort. But that 'icchashakti'(desire+will) is missing.
    About, being attracted only to the Brahman of the opposite sex - Well, we being manifestations of the Brahman on the Earth, we are made to live across a wall of abstraction - between reality and maya(illusion). All of us are under the maya of the sexes. None of us can reach that ultimate truth - wherein we realize that there are no sexes, all that exists is ths Parabrahman itself. So, me and you, fortunately or unfortunately still live in that state of mind wherein we know that there are 2 sexes on this planet. And me being a heterosexual, am obviously attracted to the opposite sex ;)
    Muralidhar said...
    Yes Abhilash, I partly agree. I am familiar with this kind of philosophy. I used to be an avid reader(also a follower) of Swami Vivekananda during my high school days. This is exactly what Vivekananda says too. I gave up on this philosophy because the truth is that life gives only one chance. This is the time to 'feel' new things. And things are never going to be this 'new' again. Surely there is time for the 'Brahaman' theory later on in life. And experience will tell if the theory is indeed true. This moment is to experience the colours of life. The time to sit down and draw serious conclusions will definitely come, maybe when our children are busy wooing their opposite sex ;) [You can argue here that when one is already caught in the 'jedara bale' of material world, it would be insane to let a family that one himself built suffer due to his actions and philosophy. This argument is taken. My viewpoint is - our parents are living a perfect family life. Why not look forward to such a life and achieve all that we want in the material world?]
    But no Swami Abhilashananda so soon :)
    Abhilash Ravishankar said...
    Hey, wait a minute. Who declared here that I am not enjoying life here? Who said that I am not going to marry? Who said that I am not going to enjoy the colours of life? If you look at my other posts recently like this one it shows that I am enjoying life to the fullest. I see more colours in life than many others probably. So, what's wrong?
    We are on Earth - it has been thrust upon to us be part of this material world and the rality has been abstracted from us. So, my viewpoint is - Let's carry on with our material lives(eg: Yikes! I've got a test 'morrow and I am yapping about philosophy!) , yet lets not get bogged down and try to take a sneak peek into the rality (coz, its worth the effort).
    Abhilash Ravishankar said...

    PS: No way man! Swami Abhilashananda sounds bad! SOunds hypocritical too, right (Abhilash = desire ; ananda = bliss ): How can they co-exist ?
    Muralidhar said...
    :) Swami Muraliananda??? How does that sound? pathetic..i know. Esp. for someone who has set out with a 'steel-determination' to find his girl!
    Keerthi Kiran said...
    omg! am i to assume abhilash is a changed man now?!

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